Recently, Mayim Bialik, the actor who plays Amy Farafowler on CBS’s The Big Bang Theory, posted a rather candid video blog about her life after divorce. She was married for nine years and has two children. Mayim offers a thoughtful, honest, and helpful take on a parent’s life after divorce. The center of Mayim’s message is that, for her and her ex-spouse, the main goal is to create the healthiest possible environment for their children. In her video she shares a few tips on how she works toward that goal.
She makes a powerful point in her video – “divorce is not the end of a family,” nor the responsibilities that come with being a family. This is important to remember and we’ve written on this subject before. Make your best effort to stay connected with your ex! Although it can be challenging at times, both spouses should exemplify respectful behavior towards one another in front of their children. Being petty or disrespectful can cause your children unnecessary emotional stress and hurt you, the parent, in the long run should you end up back in court.
Not only is it better you keep connected with your ex (if it’s safe to do so), it is also helpful to continue communication with his or her family. Mayim talks about how she sends photos of the children to both families, allowing everyone to remain connected and can help reduce the feeling of being left out of the children’s life. More importantly, this keeps the children connected to both sides of the family. Small things like this can help nurture a support system that can focus on the children rather than past or current disagreements that family members or spouses may have.
The bottom line is that your children deserve to have lives that remain as unaffected as possible by the decisions you and your spouse have made. For that goal to be reached, each spouse should try their best to accept and embrace the new arrangement in order to remain cautious about new vulnerabilities and also to take advantage of new opportunities. Maintaining a healthy relationship after a divorce is not easy, but if both parents focus on their children, it becomes easier to keep the larger goal in perspective.
View the video below:
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