Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events a person can experience. In our years of experience practicing family law, we have seen the manifestations of this stress first hand. It is in our best interests, both professionally and personally, to help decrease the stress of our clients because it allows us to do our job more effectively. However, attorneys are not therapists.
Unfortunately, it is common for the stress of divorce to manifest negatively. Certain behaviors should be avoided because they can undermine the goal of divorce negotiations. The role of social media only heightens this potential. Maintaining composure, as difficult as it can be at times, is extremely important to ensuring that your interests are protected in the process. Momentary lapses in judgment due to anger or sadness can have a lasting impact.
Below, we’ve listed four behaviors that should be avoided during divorce negotiations.
The hazards of social media concerning legal issues cannot be overstated, and it is no different for those going through a divorce. Everything that is posted to social media may potentially be used against you. One angry or implicative status update directed at your spouse or a comment that suggests you are to blame for some source of conflict can compromise your case.
Similar to venting on social media, sending angry texts or voice mails to your spouse in a fit of sadness or anger can also be used against you. It may happen that an angry message or voice mail leads to a lasting negative impact on a child custody matter. If you are inclined to express yourself to your ex, first ask yourself if it’s something you’d want his or her attorney to see or hear, if the answer is “no,” then don’t do it.
Bad mouthing your spouse around your children or to your friends is not a good idea. Your children should not be brought into arguments you have with your spouse. It puts them in a difficult position during what is already a confusing time for them emotionally. Additionally, what you say to your friends could end up being used against you. If the divorce is difficult, or particularly contentious, your private conversations could be brought to light in the discovery process.
Avoid being needlessly mean or aggressive. Doing your part to maintain civility towards your spouse will only help your case. If your spouse is also working in his or her best interests, they will extend the same grace to you. Divorces tend to go more smoothly if spouses are able to communicate respectfully. This will ultimately reduce frustration and expense, which will go a long way in reducing over-all stress that may otherwise infect unrelated areas of your life, e.g. relationship with your children or in the workplace.
Following these suggestions may not be easy; we are well aware of how emotionally difficult divorce is on all fronts. However, paying attention to your behavior will help your case, and will help build on the positive and allow the points of conflict to be negotiated in a way that is most beneficial for all parties involved.
If you or a loved one is going through a separation or divorce, schedule a consultation with one of our experienced Virginia divorce attorneys today. Call 888-691-9319 or fill out this short form to get started.
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